Saturday, January 17, 2009

I can't be anyone but Me.

Bipolar personality.Whimsical ideas.Impulsive decisions.Overindulgent habits.Reckless choices.Persistent melancholy.Excessive hypomania.Unconventional motivation.Absent tolerance.Harmless highs.Incongruous views.Manic indifferent.

Incomprehensible, racing thoughts haunt this overused mind. At times, it's filled with absurd, fantastical, and often ridiculously unreasonable ideas.

Don't tell me not to worry, that everything will be okay, and its a passing phase.

Its all here, and now.


Monday, January 12, 2009

Me, Myself shadow?

I don't want to care. But i'm conflicted. I want to know what the future entails.

I feel inadequate when alone. In a crowd I feel at home. Do I let it bother me or do I it let go? Is it normal? What is 'normal'? Is 'normal' the same for everyone?

I used to be one who refuses to believe in a risk-free society where the thrill of living is traded for the safety of existence. Was that an inherent belief or an acquired one?

I wish I knew how to live without fear. I fear the dark, the unknown. I fear rejection, their dissatisfaction.

I know myself. But only sometimes.